When I surrender my prayers to God each night, I ask Him to pave that path. But truthfully the gate he has opened for the next phase of my journey wasn’t exactly what I would have chosen for myself. But blessings come in disguise.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.  (Romans 8:28)

I’ve been offered a 2 year contract with Teach for America in Philadelphia. I’ll be a secondary (middle or high school) English teacher and responsible for shaping young, future revolutionary minds. I’ll be responsible for passing on knowledge, and hopefully reshaping the “burden” many young people classify as reading and writing. I’m excited, thankful, and nervous (probably not for the reason you would think) all in one anxious emotion, I’m trying to NOT understand and instead just trust. God and the universe know more than I do, so when they make decisions and certain opportunities align, I rarely question it. If it’s here, it’s a blessing, even if I am unable to see the results at the moment.

On an anecdotal note, I remember how powerful my English classes were to me in middle school and high school. I had some amazing teachers and some sucky ones, but the classes that I loved the most were the one’s that gave me the space for my personal creativity: to write and explore new topics- various forms of literature, music, poetry, and prose. I love my writing, I’ve loved it since I penned my first story at five with the patience of my grandmother typing on the computer as I told her each sentence of my imagination. And while pieces of me want to dedicate myself to writing full time and exploring my art and passion, the other piece of me calls me to serve and inspire other young people the same way that my English teachers inspired me. I am not nervous to teach, but I am concerned about the impact that teaching full time will have on my true passion and art.

The challenge will be this: creating the space to continue my writing and stimulate my mind. I move to Philly in June, so I’ll have about a month to transition from graduation/nostalgically leaving NYC to a new city that holds the next chapter in my life. On a basic level, I’m thankful for a good, post-college job (don’t sleep on teacher salaries with Teach for America, especially in the North, none of that 30 something k, entry level dollar nonsense). At the very least, I’ll have a steady income to support me while I improve my portfolio and writing technique. Who knows, I might even do a evening master’s program at UPenn. I’ve already started looking at programs, and at the very least, I’m intrigued. Regardless, adulthood and “real” career, here I come…but with one condition, my writing comes and stays with me at all costs. Passion in which ever way it manifests itself must always be your first priority. I choose to keep my #1

Ari

Pic Top: Mica Paris by Derrick Santini

I revel in silence. There is nothing more comforting than hearing my own voice and thoughts with no distractions or external conversations. I am a self-embracing loner, even though I love people. My most profound works come from a lack of speech.

This week, I have been incredibly “still.” As usual, I have been engrossed in essays, meetings, and propelling projects, but socially, I’ve definitely felt MIA. As my dreams have become more and more accurate in giving me a glimpse into my immediate future, I know that I am about to hit a crossroad within the next few weeks. It will probably be an emotional one since I am still trying to make sense of how to write, film, and give back to my community simultaneously and not be forced into a certain social genre. I can’t describe myself and really don’t want to.

Next week, I will leave for a short retreat in Michigan for Spring Break- excited for horses, grass, and home cooked food. Godparents do it the best. I’m sure that I’ll have a lot to meditate on. Acceptances letters will begin arriving next week. With more information on the table, I look forward to meeting the next decisions for this closing chapter.

The universe has begun its approach. I welcome it. God’s already briefed me.

I’m listening in my stillness.

Arielle Loren

Yes, I am a size 4, maybe 6 in the bottoms depending on if I’m shopping in H&M or Forever 21 (aka the bony/stick size booty stores), so let me say up front that I’m not living in an overweight body. But I also realize that even though I hate going to the gym, I have a good metabolism, I drink at least 1 Liter of water a day, I eat like a bird and I’ve become more of a health freak as the time goes on. Lately, I did slip some McDonald’s into the diet and I feel gross, especially when one of my girlfriends and high school made a comment saying that my thighs were looking thicker! She said it was a good thing, but I already have adjusted my diet and have some gym visits scheduled into next week. NO GAMES! (I already have peeped my jeans/leggings ripping at the crotch and down the thigh line since last semester. Not sure if I can blame it on them being old lol). The truth is that we’ve all run into some of our friends from awhile back and they have packed on significant pounds since we last saw them. The conversation always starts as “heyyy…(you skip over the you look great part)…how’s school?” I’m sorry, but its true. I know I do it and frankly since the majority of the people that I’ve had that awkward conversation with haven’t had babies yet, it really just comes down to our eating habits and not adjusting our exercise and eating habits to correspond with our changing , aging bodies. I am young, but I just turned 20 and realized that my body really is changing. Some of the ish (such as McDonald’s) that I could get away with snacking on maybe once a month, won’t fly anymore. And since I am DETERMINED to be the baddest chick in my mind and my future boyfriend/future husband’s mind, both in body and spirit, I know that weight is something I have to be conscious of. I see it like this, if I get overweight now, OMG for after I’m married when I drop my first, second, and third child (God-willing). Even though I get the “Shut up Arielle, you’re like a size 2″ treatment from some of my friends, I am quite aware that my size 4 body is going to change post baby. Better to start off as small as possible…I’m just saying. Plus I’m a small chested woman, and I love every bit of my lemon breasts lol (as some of my girlfriends with watermelons tease me). It’s funny because I think in about two years, my currently 12 yr old sister will out grow me LOL. I was able to squeezzee into one of her training bras over the summer (I left my bras in NY), its not looking good lol. But all of this is to say that I am aware that I can’t rock a big stomach. It just doesn’t work with my shape!

When I was younger (like 5-13 yrs old), I had the biggest pot belly, we’re talking pillsbury dough girl type of situation. Why? Well my father loves fast food, and as a kid, McDonald’s is always a treat, so we would eat that multiple times a week without thinking twice. As his stomach grew, so did mine, we were like twins! lol When I got to middle school, I started running track and damn I was slow. I mean slooowwwwww, it was the worst work out of my life. But I dropped the pounds, my metabolism seemed to speed up (I don’t think the speed ever left) and you know I thought I was hot ish when I got to high school track (still slow) and was sporting a cute 4/6 pack (you can still see it when I flex and suck my tummy in lol). But wow, did the male attention change once I lost the pounds. At first, I though it was because I was getting older, but looking back on it, I think it was a combination of both.

I went to Chicago last month and one of the first things my 80 yr old grandmother said to me was “Wow you look great. Most people gain weight after going to college but you seem to have held things together well.” Thanks Grandma lol, now I feel the pressure to make sure I don’t blow up between January and graduation. If Grandma, a woman who has celebrated 50+ year wedding anniversaries, made that one of her first comments, before asking about my academics amongst other things, perhaps it is something to pay attention to.

I was having lunch with one of my girlfriends last week and we were discussing a beautiful friend of ours who is a bit overweight. She is a BEAUTIFUL woman, and a WONDERFUL person. She is going to make an amazing wife and mother some day. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why the heck she’s still single. My girlfriend looked at me and said “Arielle, this is going to sound horrible. She is beautiful but men are visual creatures. She’s a big girl and most men don’t appreciate that.” I was about to put up a philosophical argument against why that was bull s**t, but I stopped, thought, and decided to be still before responding. She continued, “You don’t know what that is like. I don’t know what that’s like. She reminds me of my cousin, beautiful woman. But for some reason, all the men that she liked when we were younger, would end up liking me. It’s not that I consider myself prettier than her, because I don’t. I think she is beautiful. But I’ve always been the smaller one. It makes a difference.” Ok, she’s right. Its fucked up, but she’s right. And I say this because I know this girl and she is one of the most humble, non-conceited women I know. I’ve watched stuff like this happen, I’ve talked to my male friends, and even some of the dudes I’ve dated.  It’s not necessarily about being a certain weight, because flat stomachs come on all shapes and sizes, but oh the flat stomach makes a difference in their world and so do the in tact, shapely butts and thighs. These men are not hypocrites because they hit the gym constantly. You don’t have to have a 6 pack, because most of them don’t, but their stomachs are definitely on the flat side and they simply expect their women to rock the same. I look at the women in my family as examples. My godmother is one of my idols. She is a corporate executive, a wife, and a mother of four now. She hits the gym almost everyday. It is NOT a game, if she can do it at 50+ being one of the most powerful black women in business in America, then we, as 20 and 30 yr olds (primarily with no kids), can do it too. Now, I’m not a mother, not looking to be one too soon, and I don’t know what its like to have a baby and have your body completely change. This post really wasn’t for y’all. I don’t like to speak on for what I haven’t experienced myself. BUT I do think there may be some applicable points for you to take. THIS post is DEFINITELY for my ladies with no kids, a bit overweight, 20s and 30s and trying to bag a husband.

My loves, we can’t hide behind the “black women are naturally curvy” statement. Yes, we know that we do not have white girl bodies. But some of us have gotten really unhealthy for various reasons and stepped beyond curvy. We must be healthy, and that means eating properly, exercising, and staying close to our average weight (no more than 10 pounds over according to our height).

I don’t like it ladies and this is a TOUGH one. But I propose this, let’s do an experiment. If you know that you’ve gained 15+ pounds, we have about 3 months until beach season. Let’s gym it up and adjust our diets. I have a feeling that the shallowness that seems to present itself in this argument with our men, actually might be true. Plus, as my idol Michelle Obama has made it clear, its time for America to get back in shape and get healthy. At the very least, I’m positive that you’ll feel better about yourself and that’s what is most important (I love self-confidence boosters!)

Happy Gyming! I already got plans to be in either India or France for vacation over the summer. We will be on the beach. Sexy bod pics are a must!

~Ari~

(photo credit: jessie fritsch)

Valentine’s Day weekend, after being catered to (mix a little Beyonce with some Usher) by the sweetest young man, I went to Boston with my daddy and my little sister. Typically, I do not like Boston, just being honest. I was not thrilled about the idea of going, but I was happy to get out of NY and spend some time with the loved ones. Interestingly enough, my sister and I randomly picked a hotel to book (with Daddy’s credit card lol) the night before and coincidentally, we chose a hotel on the river in Cambridge that my dad and mom took me too when I was like one or two years old (I have no recollection of this). Even though, we went slightly over budget with the hotel choice (he should’ve known better than to give us that opportunity), he got over it immediately once he saw what hotel it was and proceeded the whole weekend to tell me stories about how he and my mom rolled me around in my little stroller with a “Future Freshmen of Harvard University” t-shirt (that didn’t happen lol) and watched my cousin graduate from the historic, great university itself.

My dad has been whispering Harvard in my ear for graduate school since the moment I stepped foot in undergrad. I never really liked Boston, even though I always loved Cambridge, but I have to say that this last trip really put me in a Harvard mood. Unfortunately, I’m not sure how Harvard ties into my future. I’m still in love with the University of Oxford in England, which is the OLDEST university in the WORLD (sorry Harvard, they’ve got you beat), according to Eurocentric history, of course. You know universities in Egypt and all over the rest of Africa were wiped out, but anyway, another history lesson for another time. After my Teach for America 2 year contract (fingers crossed that I get good news on March 8th), I plan to go back to school. I try not to plan to far ahead though. One step at a time since God and the universe always like to throw random things in my path. Regardless, that was Boston.

Back in New York (told you I had double info to share), NYU succeeded in getting on my LAST DARN NERVE this week. Their financial aid office is so incompetent. I asked for a signed letter from them, it was one sheet of paper. It took them 15 business days to deliver it. RIDICULOUS. I still love my school though. I must say that this semester really is reaffirming my decision to throw the duces at NYU early. I feel like 80% of my assignments are in the “busy work” category. I can’t remember the last time that I wrote something that caused me to learn something. Whatever…moving on May 12th.

Spring break and midterms are approaching rapidly. I haven’t been to my Natural Science lecture in two weeks LOL. Let’s just say my professor is old enough to be underground, and he whispers when he is teaching. That DOES NOT WORK when you have a lecture hall for 150 STUDENTS. But I’ve been acing my labs and somewhat reading. It’ll take a crunch weekend to get up to speed, but first i’ll go to class to find out when our midterm is. I won’t even tell you how the syllabus he gave us was literally one page, a typed word document with the names of all the books, our lab days and the final exam date. UH what happened to a schedule for assigned readings? His response, read two chapters of each book a week. LOL, we appreciate your laziness. One of the books is a biography about Einstein, which I am REALLY enjoying. The physics text books…mmmm not so much.

Anyway…..I shouldn’t be spending the last day of my weekend discussing my least favorite class. Friday, I went to NYU’s African Heritage Month Fashion Show…my bestfriend from high school was scarred for life LOL. Trannies and oreo cookies…if you were there, enough said lmao

I’m about to go to IHop (my favorite breakfast place in the world if anyone knows me) with another one of my besties. She’s driving all the way up from Jersey just to do have breakfast with me in Brooklyn. I haven’t seen her or my godson in her tummy in like 4 months!!! Unacceptable.

Before I leave, I had to show everyone how my afro is growing. SO EXCITING!!!!! lol….and yea the Black Eyed Peas song had nothing to do with my post lol

That being said, I realized that I have a weakness. I’ve been told this before, but I do this thing where I try to do EVERYTHING by myself. I mean who better to trust to get things accomplished than you? But when you are a full time student at NYU, taking 4 regular courses plus three extra part time producing seminars, trying to write a book, and launching your first real business….maybe it might be smart to ask for help.

So this is what I am doing. I’ve posted a request on my company’s site for what I need, if you know anyone who could be of any assistance I’d really appreciate it. Click for more info.

That’s it for now. About to take something for this headache.

Enjoy your week!

Ari

There is a difference between “networking” and “team-building.” Your team consists of the people who genuinely have your best interest at heart and happen to be doing the type of things you are involved in that could help you both get ahead. What are they doing? Are they progressive? Making things happen? Trustworthy? Credible? Well-informed? Determined? Are they the type of people you work towards becoming? If you’re shaking your head yes, Those are the folks you want in your village. Facebook might be a great networking tool, but chances are.. your team has your phone number.

Hmmm, I never thought about it like that. As someone who considers herself a member of the  born-digital and always looking for new connections through various mediums, I sat back and thought, “Arielle, who is really on your team? Or rather, who do you NEED on your team?” I realized that it goes back to my entire philosophy on friends. I have a lot of “friends” and relationships with people that I share a common interest with. However, I can count the people who are closest to me with my five fingers, family included. My bestfriend and I always have this conversation. Once, she told me this story that sticks with me to this day.

When she was living in Italy, she used to visit a local bar owned by an old Italian man. One night, they got into a deep conversation about life, passion, loyalty, and friendship. The man said to her, “In life you should be able to count the people closest to you on one hand, other wise you are not on “purpose”: you’re not focused and attentive to the people who are truly loyal to you.”

I took that with me and carry it when I encounter all the amazing people that God has put in my path. However, I don’t feel the need to have a lot of close friends, even though I cherish those relationships. I like having a small core, it makes me feel more focused. I know that my “five” are my team. At the end of the day, they are probably the ones that are going to assist in moving my career and passions to the next level. THEY are loyal to me, without question. They have passed numerous tests and they have stuck around through my struggles.  Not only have they stood by me, but at times they put me on their backs and carried me. They created my definition of loyalty and anyone that I admit into my 5 circle, have to prove that they are reflective of that spirit. Each of my five represent my diverse passions. So while networking definitely helps, Ms. Black is right, your team is all that really matters.

A.L.

This is my small dedication to them. I hope that I’ll be able to get down there sometime this year to lend a physical hand, for now I ask that we all send them prayers and anything we can give.

Enjoy the lyrics and Rihanna’s performance. The song is available on iTunes, and ALL of the proceeds will go to Haiti.

Redemption Song by Bob Marley

Old pirates, yes, they rob I;
Sold I to the merchant ships,
Minutes after they took I
From the bottomless pit.
But my hand was made strong
By the ‘and of the Almighty.
We forward in this generation
Triumphantly.
Won’t you help to sing
This songs of freedom
‘Cause all I ever have:
Redemption songs;
Redemption songs.

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds.
Have no fear for atomic energy,
‘Cause none of them can stop the time.
How long shall they kill our prophets,
While we stand aside and look? Ooh!
Some say it’s just a part of it:
We’ve got to fullfil the book.

Won’t you help to sing
This songs of freedom-
‘Cause all I ever have:
Redemption songs;
Redemption songs;
Redemption songs.
—
/Guitar break/
—
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our mind.
Wo! Have no fear for atomic energy,
‘Cause none of them-a can-a stop-a the time.
How long shall they kill our prophets,
While we stand aside and look?
Yes, some say it’s just a part of it:
We’ve got to fullfil the book.
Won’t you have to sing
This songs of freedom? -
‘Cause all I ever had:
Redemption songs -
All I ever had:
Redemption songs:
These songs of freedom,
Songs of freedom.

I’m more of a sky diving girl, either I am going to jump and soar… or fall straight on my ass. That’s pretty much what I plan to do. I like to think of my family as my extra parachute, but I am not too good at asking for things, so I am not sure how much use I’ll get out of it. I get yelled at all the time, “Arielle, you’re a student! Stop trying to handle everything by yourself.” Yes, easier said than done, but I have learned slowly to let some support in and yes it has made my life much easier.

I started thinking about what I am up against post-graduation:

1. A recession. Yes, this is nothing new. Not many places are hiring.

2. I am passionate about being a writer…in a recession.

3. The idea of moving back home/away from New York makes me go cold.

But in all, the one thing everyone knows about me is that I have the most sickening work ethic and I am so darn stubborn when it comes to sticking to my dreams. I’m not completely in my own world though. I already  have two 9-5 jobs lined up for post graduation while I transition into being an author, filmmaker, and self-supported entrepreneur.

My dad always says though, “Well, Arielle, I won’t say that what you want to accomplish is impossible. There are always 1 or 2 that make it.”

Yea, 1 or 2…that may be true but my mind doesn’t think very much in terms of limitations. And, honestly, everyone’s path to success is different. What may look like absolute reckless craziness to one person, may be a yellow brick road for another.

At the end of the day…in the words of Steve Job, the co-founder of Apple and former CEO of Pixar, “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way i know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.”

I want them to say when I’m dead and gone, “Whew, she sure knew how to live.”

It’s as simple as that.

Ari

Steve Job’s 2005 commencement address at Stanford University

Although I appreciate some of the discussion leaders and their comments, I actually was rather disappointed in the participants. It was the same ol’ same ol’ lines for me. Can we stop complaining please ladies? and gents! I truly believe we are what we seek, so if great men are not coming into your life: step back and examine yourself, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, get a CLEAR vision on what you what your mate to be.

Some of my girlfriends and I sat down before the year ended (and before I left for Egypt) and described our husbands down to the t. I swear, I could tell you where my husband comes from, what he does for a living, what his family values are, what his life goals are, what he physically looks like…seriously, I could probably spot him in a room. I can feel the type of energy I am seeking.

Now, this is not to say that every, little piece of my description will manifest, BUT LET ME TELL YOU, within the last 13 days, I have been getting men well within my husband profile. So I know it works and this is why I want to pass 2-steps to you.

Really, all of the media hype about single, black women and finding suitable single, black men is putting me to sleep. This isn’t about statistics, ladies. The idea that it is “hard” to find a suitable Black man makes me BORED. If that is all the media can come up with to talk about us, SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! And my women are MORE POWERFUL than that. DID WE FORGET THAT BLACK WOMEN BIRTHED CREATION? Trust and believe, with that power from our ancestors alone, when we put our minds to something, it WILL manifest.

I am a young, single, Black woman. I am strong-willed, extremely focused, and I won’t tolerate any nonsense…admittedly I am not in a rush to get married, but definitely with my eyes open because I am aware that I may meet my husband at any moment (if I haven’t met him already) even if we don’t take it to that level for another 5 or so years.

here is my 2-step recommendation. Start your New Year off right.

1. Cut ALL (read that again, I said ALL) the men out of your life who are NOT what you are looking for. I mean cut OFF, you don’t need their phone numbers in your phone and yours needs to eventually be deleted from theirs if they don’t get the picture with you being A-Wall. Delete them from your facebook, block them if necessary, and anything else you can think of that they might use to contact you, get rid of it! I believe that men and women can be friends but NOT bestfriends (if you’re both into the opposite sex). And frankly, you don’t have time to be talking to someone on a regular basis who isn’t propsect for being the “one.”

2. This is the easy step, sit back and watch the good energy and men role into your life. Date, have fun, and continue to cut off if you find he is not what you are looking for.

Now, these steps are assuming that you are together. Start a project and take care of you in 2010.

I want to see all my women happy and healthy in 2010.

I say, forget what the mainstream media says!

See that ^….yes, it’s official. The graduation process has started. The application is in. (I’m assuming it will be approved since I have completed all my requirements).

After I blasted out an email to all my family members and some close friends with the same picture, I had to sit back and think about what had been circling my mind for the last…well…months. What’s next? A book…yes, I am finally writing it and WOW IT’S MUCH HARDER THAN I EXPECTED. What I have grown to realize about myself is that I will always start a million projects and have a new innovative idea, which is why when anyone asks me what I want to be, I tend to reply “a creative innovator” now. But in every project except writing, I am really okay with making mistakes. But uh…my writing…yea NO GAMES. I demand perfection from myself, ESPECIALLY, since this will be the first work that will either exalt, damn, or put my writing name somewhere in the middle. I’m trying to be on that exalted list, I want to speak to the souls of readers. And trust me, when I write that’s my only mission other than personal self-fulfillment. I’m not a commercial bookseller really, I’m hoping not to develop into a writer that can’t feel her work and instead only seeks a pay check…my other projects are for the dinero lol.

Writing is too dear for me. I’ve been coming up with stories before I could even really write sentences. I think I was 6 or 7 years old actually. My grandmother and I would sit at her computer and I would tell her what I wanted a story to be like and she would type it. My first series was called “Malika’s Adventures.” It was about an African princess who could travel back in time. If I could travel back in time and kiss my grandmother 20 more times for being my first supporter as a writer, I’d do it everyday. Thank You BaBa!!!!! To this day, she is still enjoying this crazy ride through her granddaughter’s crazy adventures/holding her breathe when I hop across the world on impulse hahaha. But truly, my family has been my backbone, some more than others at different points in my lifetime, but regardless, everyone has always kept it real and, at times, told me things I didn’t want to hear, but probably needed to. It made me stronger.

As the semester progresses, I’ll probably get more and more sentimental. I’m so excited for everyone to come and visit me in May, plus see me graduate! I’m anticipating their presence the most. I love you all!!!!!! And you too as my reading supporters!